Thursday, June 15, 2017

ode to injesswebless

English class. 8th grade. I was thirteen years old.

And as per usual, whenever we were given an assignment, you’d find me back in the corner of the classroom, facing outside, uninterrupted. Ms. Swaiko, my teacher, often found it odd. My middle school teachers (and it continued all through high school) complained I talked too much in class; moving my seat never helped. However, I never thought Ms. Swaiko suspected a thing. I held myself in high regard, believing I was very skilled at appearing focused while effectively doing something else simultaneously. I’d quickly hide the paper, creating A-1 excuses such as: taking notes, doing homework ahead of time, or whatsoever.

Anyway, during one class, we had to do an outline for a project. Ms. Swaiko knew how much I loathed doing outlines, yet, that day I went on my merry way to my usual spot. Too puzzled, she decided to sneak up behind me, peeking over my shoulder, before tapping me on the shoulder.

I froze. Busted. My cover is blown. I’ve been discovered that I was secretly writing.

If you ever had Ms. Swaiko, you’d know her wrath if a student doesn’t do what she says. Also, if you knew me at thirteen, you’d know my wrath if I had to stay after school (right after school was the prime time of the day to grab a quick visit with the high school boys). It was like the capital punishment. Yet, I accepted my consequence and met with Ms. Swaiko to finish the outline; when I was done, she gave me a note to give my mother.

Ugh. Shit. As if staying after school wasn’t a punishment enough.

However, I delivered the letter to Mom that evening. She did a HUGE sigh and gave me her best what-did-you-do-this-time face before opening it. Just as I started to explain myself, Mom broke into a smile and nodded her head; after reading it, she handed me the note I hold dear to this day:

Sue --
You have a writer for a daughter
N. Swaiko

I'll be leaving this for Wordpress shortly and start blogging faithfully - blog name is in the works.

I almost want to do...


Yes for a blog name. 

And yes, my AOL screen name I created during freshman year of high school; the one that stayed with me well through college.

Anyway, point is: y'all will know. :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Letter to the kid

Dear Roman,

You brought this home from preschool yesterday, beaming with delight. On it were pictures of: a map, a forest, and an exotic lizard's skin. You saw this as an ability to use glue and scissor but I saw something else. It was that exhilarating free-spirited Roman soul in you. You know no boundaries when it comes to strangers, you have no problem getting rough in the knees, running outside topless and barefooted during the summer.

You're still a boy with tousled curls and popsicle stained face but as you grow up, the world is yours for the taking.

You may want to be free to fly and fall at your choice, to travel and see the world. Or go to an expensive school and become a lawyer, or a teacher, or an artist, or an athlete. You may want to stand where our ancestors stood, jump from airplanes, and see places you read about. You will experience joy and heartbreak. You may want to throw yourself into the middle of a sweaty club in Australia and feel alive for the first time in your life. You may want to try new things, putting something in the world that isn't there before... but whatever you do, do it with love and always smile with more than your lips.


Monday, October 13, 2014

"Your naked body
should only belong to
those who fall in love
with your naked soul."
- Charlie Chaplin

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Because, why not?

Let's go. We'd sneak in at 1am and have the park all to ourselves.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Year #2

His early mornin' loving
You have to leap out of bed with him

His curly hair and knobby knees
The way the sun gleams his smile

He looks at me with those big eyes
He got me in the palm of his hands
He smiles with that full of joy smile

There's no denying he's my child
Without him I don't know what I'd do

He melts my heart,
That tiny discoverer of everything

He is in awe of all that he sees,
And he taught me more that he could ever know. 

Makes me laugh at the perfect time
That boy is everything to me

Happy 2nd birthday! I love you, kid. 


Saturday, January 08, 2011

Day Number Twenty-One

A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Instead wanting to forget some things, I'm certain of this. :)

Day Number Twenty

A photo of somewhere you'd love to travel.

Well, it's been quite confirmed... I'm going to Hawaii!

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Day Number Nineteen

A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Most of the time, I do not care what others think of me... but I care about what I think of myself. Ah, I think I am a different brand of insecure.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Day Number Eighteen

A photo of a letter.

Cute... real cute.

My New Years in a Nutshell

I absolutely love getting all prettied-up... especially to a ball with Black and White being its theme. It was less than twenty-four hours before countdown when I was notified of this party; without a second thought, I booked the tickets. Next thing I knew, I was off to New York City and then to New Jersey to celebrate New Years... where I definitely had a ball.

I remember the turn of 2010. I was in Louisville, Kentucky... and January first was the day of Meg's wedding. I remember being teary-eyed. That old favorite college roommate of mine looked positively gorgeous. Funny, I also wore that peacock hairpin. I had no New Years resolutions, and had no idea what two thousand ten was going to be like.

A year later, although I'm more settled and secure -- I know what I want out of life (not just the rest of the year) ... I'm also aware I may have no idea what I'm getting myself into.

I'd consider that exciting. Last night, I was telling a friend about how people would live their lives based on "years." For instance, I'd say: "Wow. 2010. What a year." Then again, every year is "Wow, what a year." As years roll by, you grow; you gain wisdom and insight (well hopefully).

Things simply happen, especially circumstances that are beyond our control. We cannot avoid the "common facts of life"... during those months; I learned so much about life, death. Love, hatred. Friendship, relationships. How you cannot judge someone based on their past. About people, about forgiving, about acceptance. About letting go. About what we should value the most: what is important to us. Being able to understand others, to understand myself.

Years are some numbers that scientists decide to come up with. I say forget numbers. Forget how many years you have lived. I could say, based on what I had gone through, I've lived a million lifetimes at the age of twenty-six.

Instead of years, I am living my life based on moments. On the other hand, I have acknowledged this year as a chance... to be surer of myself. To be more determined and give my absolute best to what I want out of this year.

The turn of a new year does give people a sense of hope, new beginnings, second chances. Last year I had no resolutions. I told myself to expect none. I precisely said resolutions are excuses for people to wait for a year to make some changes.

Of course, I am not perfect. God knows I'm just as flawed... I break every resolution that is known to humankind. In this case, instead of resolutions, I've decided on several personal oaths (albeit simple ones) for 2011:

1. Take risks, a.k.a. do huger leaps of faith into the unknown.
2. Swallow my pride.
3. Think right, eat well.